Lies.. All Lies.....

You know when you're 5.. and you're eating soup or something. Most humans would pick out the potatoes, and meat, chicken.. whatever. Then maybe, just maybe.. if you're a fat little shit - you'll eat the carrots...

why do we choose to consume this strange orange root? because its been burned into our sub-conscious since we were able to mutter out the words "mahmah".. that carrots are good for your eyes.

now at 5, you're parents can also tell you that meatballs are made from cows eyes, or rat meat.. and you'd believe them!! When in actuality, meatballs are just expensive, not toxic.

Now just recently.. I was reminded of this whole carrot-myth. My parents used to tell me, "well, have you ever seen a bunny with glasses?".. at 5 my reaction was "huh.. no, i haven't.. well shit on my face and call me grandma..they're on to something!!"... Now my reaction is more like "what the motherfuck?"..... rabbits shit in pellets too but i don't see you doing that!!!!

Now I realise i should just shut up and say "well, if its good enough for bugs.. its good enough for me".. screw bugs bunny.. bugs bunny lives in a hole.

Ok, so the truth is carrots contain vitamin A. and A lack of vitamin A can cause things like blindness. But i think my 5 year-old self would've appreciated hearing that instead of being belittled and lied to. Then i could've just gone out and bought myself some Vitamin A pills... win-win no?

You know, I think that this could be part of the reason why little kids hate vegetables so much. Somewhere in our sub-conscious, we probably know our parents are lying to us, even at that young age. Maybe we take out our contempt of being lied to on the carrots and broccoli. They force us to eat that stuff to "better our vision",but seriously.. how much better can an eyesight of a 5 year-old get? Wtf do they expect, we start seeing through walls? So just for the hell of it, we rebel in our later years and spend hours and hours in front of the computer and t.v JUST to fuck up our eyes. "HELL YEAH MOM, take THAT! I'm 14 and legally blind!! So much for those carrots huh bitch!!!"

I have a theory that little kids are actually geniuses deep in their pea-sized brains. I just haven't been able to prove it yet. But seriously, i think we're all born as geniuses... And the reason why we grow up to be the fucktards that we are is once again, because of our parents. How do you expect us to excel and fulfill our potential if you talk to us in gibberish for the first 3 years of our life?!!?! "ohh aren't you just the cutest wittle baby?? huh? my widdle shnugleboofskie? oh i wov you.. i wooov you my poopoopikachu.."

Then they LOVE it when we say "babaah" instead of bottle.. I think that toddlers are perfectly capable of saying "gimme my bottle before i doobie-slap ur face"... but why go through the effort, when we get the same effect by saying "babaah"?? We're not stupid, just lazy shits... and remain that way till present day.

*sigh*... if you need a licence to drive a piece of lifeless machinery.. why the fuck don't we test moms and dads-to be ? We should start issuing parenting licenses, test them first.. give them a watermelon to carry around for a month. I bet they'd think twice about having kids!! Then maybe, just maybe.. the world wouldn't be overpopulated!

See... I just solved the biggest 60 year-old problem on earth, in less than 10minutes... that's called applying yourself..

AND I DIDN'T EVEN EAT ANY CARROTS TODAY!!